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Wow! I am so blessed to have you jump through all those hoops just to keep tabs on me (and let’s be real – get the freebies)!

Something you may or may not know about me is I LOVE a good joke. The cornier the better! In fact, next to my desk I have comic strips and jokes plastered to my wall. If ever you feel like you have a good one to share, please send it to me!

Without further ado, here are my top ten favorite jokes to make you laugh… or cringe depending how terrible you think they are.

Top Ten Jokes to Make You Laugh

1.  chickencrosstheroad

 

2.  One day a frog was bored, so he decided to call the psychic hotline.

“Tell me something about my love life,” said the frog.

“In the very near future you are going to meet a very beautiful young woman,” said the psychic.

“Cool, where? At a party?” asked the frog.

“No,” replied the psychic. “Next month in her biology class.”

 

3. moses-fishing_o_816100

 

4.  What kind of bagel can fly?  A Plain Bagel

 

5. Copyright © 2015 HarperCollins Christian Publishing.Whichcamefirst

 

6. Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay it would be a bagel!

 

7.  Copyright © 2015 HarperCollins Christian Publishing.givearib

 

8. What is the only bank that has cameras in the bathroom? PNC Bank (I hadn’t heard that one until I moved to where PNC was a local bank.)

 

9. hebrewscoffee

 

10. PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucket full of pecans and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

“One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy.

Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.” He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. “Come here quick,” said the boy, “you won’t believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.”

The man said, “Beat it kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.” When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard , “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”

The old man whispered, “Boy, you’ve been tellin’ me the truth. Let’s see if we can see the Lord.”

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, “One for you, one for me. That’s all. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence and we’ll be done.”

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

 

If you want it to print off or edit, here’s a Word doc of it! Top Ten Jokes to Make You Laugh